The Interrupting Kid. Something we all have seen or experienced at some point. You are in the middle of a telephone call or a conversation only to have an excited child charge in demanding your attention.
Children’s needs are important and should take priority. However, it is also vital for them to learn that interrupting, when done inappropriately, is rude and to respect other people and their conversations when they need attention.
Both parents and teachers must deal with the problem of kids needing and wanting attention at inappropriate times. The good news is that you can teach kids to interrupt respectfully while simultaneously acknowledging and attending to the child’s needs and feelings.
The Hand-on-Shoulder-Hand-on-Hand technique:
1.) When a child needs your attention, ask them to place their hand on your shoulder, arm or hand.
2.) When this happens, place (and keep) your hand on their hand to show that you know they are there and want your attention.
3.) This buys you the time to momentarily and politely excuse yourself from your conversation or task you are busy with before turning your attention to them.
4.) Remove your child’s hand and remember to thank them for waiting.
5.) Discuss what they need (or ask them to wait for a bit longer)
6.) Once the child’s need has been met, you can return to your conversation or what you did before the interruption.
Simple and effective, and everybody in the situation wins!
We also use this technique when children need help with a given task in the classroom. Children get time to reflect by waiting and can often devise a solution themselves.
Of course, the waiting will be difficult for the child, at least in the beginning. Moreover, to succeed, you must practice, demonstrate and model the appropriate behaviour for them (e.g. placing your hand on your child or partner’s shoulder when you need their attention). Asking an excited child to wait teaches patience and is an excellent exercise in self-regulation. It is worth the effort, not just from the perspective of teaching good manners, but it helps to build their patience, resilience and intelligence.
The attached video shows an example.
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